Just One of Those Days
I know this is going to sound strange, but my most relaxing moment today was when I found myself lying in the dark with music playing softly in the background. The fact that I had a rod with a camera attached to it shoved up my lady bits is a side note. Alright, I was getting a pelvic ultrasound. And sonogram. Good stuff. Actually, despite the fact that my ovaries were being probed it really was quite relaxing. I suppose one becomes immune to these sort of things after awhile. Like when I go in for blood work and have five or six vials drawn at one time, all while discussing what I did on my summer vacation, etc., with the nurse who is collecting my blood. The new normal, everybody!
So today I found myself back at Beth Israel to take another look at my insides. I think mainly we wanted to see what is (was?) going on with the cyst which had appeared on my ovary at one point. I was a little sneaky today. Normally you have to drink water until you feel like you are going to faint from having to pee so badly and only then can you go back for testing. The first round of tests involves having an ultrasound transducer (a little science for you this evening!) rolled around on your abdomen, back and forth back and forth and all around until you are convinced if you do not use the restroom right at that moment you are going to burst. After the first external test you are free to pee. Sorry, I had to. It rhymed. Then you come back into the room and it’s off with the pants and up with the camera for some state of the art trans-vaginal imaging. I know, I know. But I strive to be honest on this blog so I have to call ‘em like I see ‘em. The reason I was sneaky today is because I had only had enough water to make me almost feel like I was going to pass out, not the usual cramp inducing amount. So, I told a little fib about how very full I was. Somebody always comes to ask you if your bladder is completely full or not. Not wishing to put myself through anymore unnecessary discomfort I said yes. I did have to use the bathroom. Just maybe not as badly as I was supposed to.
The technician who was administering the test and capturing the images asked me if I “was bleeding”, meaning did I already have my period for this month which I do not. Again, you must forever excuse the level of “too much information” which appears sometimes on this blog. I pondered her question and what it might mean for the rest of the exam as I stared off into the shadows in the corner of the room while ‘It’s Just One of Those Days’ by I believe Monica came drifting over the airwaves. Good one, radio. Good one.
I did two sneaky things this afternoon. The first being my slight water fib, the second was that when the technician left the room so that I could get dressed I had a look at the screen with all of the images of my ovaries on it. I had no idea what I was looking at or what any of it meant but of course I tried my best to decipher what might be going on in each frame. The outcome? I have no idea. I was told that my oncologist should have the test results back by Tuesday at the very latest. So, we shall see! Or not see. I’d prefer to keep my privates private for the time being. At least for the next six months, if that’s quite alright with everyone.